…Something I am great at coaching others to do but horrible at myself. — “I blew it,” my friend Jen declared after giving a presentation at work. “I’m a horrible public speaker.” ”Go easy on yourself,” I responded. “You’re smart, you get along with everyone, you’re easy to work with. Stop beating yourself up.” “Yeah but public speaking is petrifying and I let it…

Even the most torturous inner turmoil is survivable — I waited in line at the pharmacy, chest tight and face numb. These were familiar feelings; fellow depressives can relate. That jaw-clenching deadness that hijacks your body and mind because your serotonin is low. Or your dopamine. Or your norepinephrine. Or your hormones are off. Or you had a traumatic…

I went on a psilocybin journey this weekend. I will never be the same. — “There’s evidence that tripping on magic mushrooms could actually free the mind. Several studies suggest that psilocybin-shrooms’ psychoactive ingredient may hold the potential to help relieve severe anxiety and depression.” ScienceAlert.com I’m looking out the bay window of an Airbnb 60 miles from my home, in a beautiful, remote spot…

How understanding my infant years is helping me heal. — When a Korean War refugee’s sperm and small-town white girl’s eggs intermix, you get a fetus whose genes aren’t sure what kind of human being to turn into. The unlikely pair married in 1967, while cities burned from the rage and exasperation of race riots, conceived me in 1968, when…

I didn’t want to, but doing so gave me unexpected optimism. — Spring brings longer days and represents a time of renewal and joy. For most, that is. I am not one of the creatures who flourishes in springtime. While others emerge from their abodes and bask in the extended daylight hours, the light of longer days pierces my pupils. …

How the pandemic brought me to my knees, then helped me stand again. — My most striking pre-pandemic memory is not toasting glasses of Prosecco with friends over a good meal. It’s not dancing at an English Beat concert, nor is it swimming in the Indian Ocean while on a surf tour of Sumatra. Mine is of cancelling my dad’s funeral. …

You told me to be happy. I think I’m finally allowing myself to be. — Dad, This date marks exactly a year since you died. What echoes in my mind today is what you wrote at the end of a letter you sent me in 1996. You were flying to Dallas to work a trip to Narita. I was living in San Francisco. You knew…

But the only path to healing is through acceptance. — “This illness is about being trapped by your own mind and body…My mood may swing from one part of the day to another. I may wake up low at 10am, but be high and excitable by 3pm.” -NCBI article from The British Journal of General Practice: ‘On madness, a personal…

We need to de-stigmatize suicide more than ever right now. — Content warning: this article includes mentions of suicide. If you are having suicidal thoughts, please call the National Suicide Prevention Line at 800–273–8255. Counselors are available 24 hours, 7 days a week, and it’s confidential and free. I’m scrolling through my Instagram feed. I stare at a post that makes…